[助聽器] 一份不存在的雙週刊 /關於音樂, 電影, 閱讀, 失去的人和物, 時光旅行...如此種種/

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28.2.12

wim wenders presents the dresden peace prize to james nachtwey


James Nachtwey was awarded the Dresden International Peace Prize on Feb. 11.
The remarks delivered by Wim Wenders, below in full, touched on this image from 1984, of the Army evacuating wounded soldiers from a village football field in El Salvador.


If a war photographer is awarded a Peace Prize, furthermore in a city once devastated by a war, then he must be a very special person and a truly extraordinary photographer. And he must have something to oppose to war.

For it is the nature of war to engage and take in everything, to occupy and appropriate, without exception. Which war film, for example, isn’t, deep down, a glorification of war, even against better judgment, and often even in spite of the best intentions?

And: It is in the very nature of images to represent what they depict. “What you see is what you get.” That’s exactly what makes them so very powerful. It’s almost like trying to square the circle if you want to dissociate yourself from what an image presents and conveys, let alone try and tell the opposite of what it shows.

War is a huge, infernal industry, the largest one on this planet. It seems presumptuous for one man to attempt to stand in the way of this machinery. Once war has broken out, everything spirals out of control almost immediately, turning even the armies and the soldiers who fight in it into helpless onlookers, victims of their own hubris. Who would dare then to oppose it and put it into perspective with mere… photographs. Who would seriously deploy cameras against tanks?

Just make the effort and visualize it for yourself! After all, almost all of us take pictures today. Even your cell phones don’t come without a camera any more. Or perhaps you have one of those small, convenient digital devices. Or you may even own some professional equipment… Just imagine going to war with that! And imagine doing so just to take a picture to undeceive the entire world and tell them what’s going on there. Yes: a photo that would influence the outcome of the war or even end it! Right. That would be sheer madness!

All right then, imagine just this: You want to change the life of ONE person with a photograph. That alone is an enormous challenge, if you think about it. The short moment when you look through the viewfinder or at the tiny display, as you point the camera at something, and finally press the shutter button… that second is supposed to achieve something, to capture something and thus captivate, and thereby move somebody, or more so: even shake up the world?

How can that be possible? Who do you have to be to attempt such a thing? How… would you possibly go about it?!

James Nachtwey’s images give us an accurate idea of how he “goes about it,” in the true sense of the word: where others “just want to get out of here,” that’s where he goes. He travels, in principle, in the direction of places that other people are only desperately leaving from, or have already left in a hurry, or can’t leave anymore.

It is with that first movement that he’s already opposing war: With himself. With his safety, his life, his affection, his conviction. All of the above are captured in his images.

“Wait a minute!” you may object. “Perhaps he gets a kick out of this going-to-war thing, or maybe he is some kind of thrill-seeking tourist. After all, there are people who climb up skyscrapers or walk tightropes at dizzy heights or hurl themselves out of planes or jump off bridges—things which none of us would do, but which a few others apparently like to do. Couldn’t Nachtwey be one of those?”

If he were, he surely wouldn’t win a Peace Award, he would just win some medal as an action hero. This James Nachtwey may have the same first name, but he certainly isn’t a James Bond type. Who is he then?

I don’t think you have to know a photographer’s biography to understand who he is. That’s what he shows us in each of his pictures. Each photograph contains a second one, invisible at first, that doesn’t reveal itself immediately. It’s a “reverse angle,” if you will, a “counter-shot.” That reminds us that taking photos is also called “to shoot pictures”… Yes, the camera is shooting back, is literally “backfiring!” The eye that looks through the lens is also reflected on the photo itself. It leaves a faint, sometimes shadowy trace of the photographer, something between a silhouette and an engraving, an “image” not of his features, but of his heart, his soul, his mind, his spirits. Let’s stay with the first and simple word for a moment, “the heart.”

The heart is the real light-sensitive medium here, not the film nor the digital sensor. It is the heart that sees an image and wants to capture it. The eye lets the light in, sure, which is why we also call it a “lens,” but it doesn’t “depict the image,” it doesn’t “depict” anything. Nor does the retina nor the nerve cords that transmit the information. The “image” is created “within.”

There, it is matched with many other signals that are coming in at the same time. Some of these are related to formal or aesthetic criteria, like to composition, focus and contrast, or to the overall impression and to details. Other signals are of an ethical or moral nature. What’s going on here? What’s happening to the people in front of my camera? What does their dignity consist of? Or rather: what is violating that dignity? What is that image telling us? Which history leads to this moment, and what continuation does it suggest? How do I react to it as the one who is seeing it, as the witness with the camera? Am I sure I’m free of prejudices or, worse, cynicism? What is it about this image that touches me? Do I have the right to show it to others? How will it affect other people? Could what I see be possibly misinterpreted? How can I prevent that from happening? Would it help if I took a step forward or to the side? If I stepped back a little more? If I left this or that out of the frame?

There are a thousand signals and messages arriving simultaneously, all of which have to be processed within a fraction of a second. The hands are already part of the thought process as they correct the frame, the finger already knows what’s coming and presses the shutter button.

What I’m trying to say is: The photograph that’s just being created includes all of these thoughts, processes them as another kind of light, “an inner light,” depicts them and “contains them” at the same time that it deals with “the outer light” and the outer events, thus producing next to the objective picture the invisible portrait of the photographer himself, that “counter-shot” I mentioned earlier.

And all of this isn’t happening at a birthday party, or on a football field, or at a rock concert, but in a war. Everything is raw, tense, loud, cruel, out of control, insane, incredible, awful, unfair, perfidious… But that’s exactly why the photographer has to be just as precise, quick, careful, considerate and dependable as if he were at a wedding or on a red carpet. No, that’s not true: he has to be even more precise, quicker, more careful, more considerate and more dependable. In war, often enough, you don’t get a second chance.

The photographs exhibited in the Dresden Museum of Military History represent a small selection of the many pictures that James Nachtwey has taken in over thirty years as a traveler and documentarian. They were taken in Afghanistan, in the Balkans, in Rwanda, Chechenya, Darfur, at Ground Zero in New York and in Iraq. This list could easily be extended to include images from Sudan, from Northern Ireland, from Romania, and so on, and so on.

James Nachtwey was in “The Heart of Darkness,” to quote the title of Joseph Conrad’s famous novel. If ever someone actually was there, it’s him! One might think that this darkness shows through, that its grim, depressing reflection makes its way through the photographer’s eye, weighing down his heart, his soul, his mind, his spirit.

And indeed, very often that’s exactly what we feel watching TV documentaries, or seeing newspaper or magazine images: that the atrocities we see depicted have hardened the photographer’s or cameraman’s heart. We can often tell that he was already looking the other way while he was taking the picture, was already done with all that death, starvation and fear around him, was only thinking about himself, his own salvation from all this hell, was no longer really WITH the subjects in front of his camera, and no longer really willing to watch death at work. Taking a picture can be a form of no longer wanting to see.

In all of James Nachtwey’s images we can also perceive (at the same time, in that reverse angle) that he didn’t want to look the other way, that he wanted to endure the sight and watch exactly what was standing or lying there before him, that he knew he owed it to the people, the dead, the starving, the sick, the entire situation in front of his camera, that he’d see and show it as exactly as possible, wide awake and with wide open eyes.

If someone’s dignity has been violated James Nachtwey doesn’t violate it a second time, as a voyeur would—but he makes an effort to restore it. (Oh yes, photographs can do both!)

Now, am I just making this up, or do I have something to back up my impressions?

I believe that all we really have to do is take a closer look. All we have to do is train our eyes to see not just the PHOTOGRAPH itself, but the ATTITUDE of the eye and the heart that took it.

Every look represents a certain attitude or state of mind, your gaze just as well, at any given time. Interest, boredom, disgust, indifference, sorrow, love, surprise, curiosity, hatred, cynicism, affection, respect, aversion, exhaustion, frustration…whatever guides our eyes is depicted along with the subject when a camera is lifted to the eye. There is no picture that wasn’t taken with an attitude of some kind or other.

And nowhere is this more necessary than when you stare death in the face, when you’re confronted with violence, despair, the abyss, the darkness. You can make out and decipher in each and every one of his photographs the attitude of James Nachtwey. It is no secret.

I’m just picking an image of his from this exhibition that at first glance isn’t all that “warlike”: Three children, little girls, are standing behind a tree. They’re covering their eyes with their hands. Some distance away a helicopter is landing or lifting off, clouds of dust swirling around. We immediately recognize these helicopters. There are usually guns protruding from the fuselage, and indeed, there they are. These roaring bumblebees are bringing troops, weapons, bombs… in short, war from above, out of the blue, and just as quickly as they came, they’re gone. You immediately hear the “Ride of the Valkyries” from Apocalypse Now.

The children are everything but Valkyries. Their colorful clothes, the slippers on their feet, or the little one’s innocent best Sunday shoes and socks, all tell us how ill-prepared they are for what is coming their way, inevitably, or what is leaving them behind, possibly, like astronauts would arrive or leave on a distant planet. A few moments ago the girls were scampering around, laughing, without a care in the world…and then came the invasion of the foreign gods.

The photograph invokes what may happen next or what might just have happened. Whichever the case, these children will remember this moment as long as they live. The caption that I’m turning to, after I have tried to decode the picture myself for a long time, says: “El Salvador, 1984. The army evacuates wounded soldiers from a village football field.” Well, this explains it a bit.

Still the message of any photograph is only the photograph itself. In museums, you might have noticed, many people pounce on to the caption, before they even look at the picture. It’s as if they were trying to protect themselves from the image. Reading creates distance, you’re not really concerned any more, the information lets you stand above the things that might otherwise trouble you.

I ask you urgently: First read the photographs closely, also here, in this extraordinary Museum of Military History. Then you will realize, in the case of this picture we just looked at: There’s a lot of tenderness in it! This photo was taken by someone who was more interested in the children than in the troops and their business. It’s not a subject you would expect to see in a picture taken by someone who went there to photograph the war. To see (or find) this, you have to be on the children’s side. You can’t cover your own face with your hands and try to protect the lens of your camera from the dust. You have to do the opposite: open your eyes wide and risk the dusk in your face and your lens.

I’ll move on to another image, almost the opposite to the one before. The Balkan Wars.

A serbian infantry attack near the village of Rahic, outside Brcko, was succesfully repulsed by Bosnian forces. The Serbs who where killed in action were collected from the battlefield and taken behind Bosnian lines. They were dumped in a farmyard, identified, and returned to their comrades the following day.

It shows a truck unloading its horrific cargo: dead bodies are sliding down from the bed. The driver is leaning out of the window of his truck so he can see where he is dumping his load of dead men. Among the bodies there is a wheelbarrow, in a moments it will also come crashing down… The dead are all fully dressed. The way they’re sliding down the tilted surface, with their heads dangling, shows that rigor mortis hasn’t set in yet.

A hand is held up in the foreground, partially covering the lens. We see the palm of the hand, the thumb pointing down. This is the right hand of a man who is standing with his back to the photographer. This isn’t someone trying to stop the photographer from taking pictures; he’s just motioning with his hand to direct the truck driver to the pit that we know must be there, just outside the photo… The most horrifying thing about this scene is that it feels just like an everyday building site.

Do we even want to know which war this is?

Yes! The caption explains it: “Bosnia and Herzegovina. The Bosnian army has successfully held off a Serbian infantry attack near the village of Rahic. The bodies of Serbian soldiers who fell in the battles have been brought from the battlefield behind the Bosnian lines on a truck…”

James Nachtwey is extremely precise. He is a witness, (the word “eye witness” is fitting more than ever) and he takes this responsibility very seriously. He is someone who not only wants to describe what he has just saw, but also wants to record it with words as precisely as possible so that it can be used as evidence.

We can see that the image wasn’t taken at eye level. The photographer didn’t look through the lens, it was “shot from the hip,” so to speak. As quick as a flash, before the man who raised his hand could turn around. If he had turned around, the image would have been a completely different one, in fact, might have become impossible.

As with most of Nachtwey’s photographs, the lens is a slight wide-angle. With such a lens, the photographer has to be right where it’s happening. To be able to take photos such as this, you have to get close to the scene. You can’t just easily zoom in from a distance. The photographer himself has no distance, he is there. And therefore we are, too, no matter if we are sitting in our living room, stand in a museum, or hold a book or a magazine in our hands.

These are pictures by someone who has a strong desire for justice in the face of the horror unfolding right before his eyes, someone who puts a lot on the line for this. Even if the photo is being taken within the fraction of a second by lifting the camera just a little more—he still instinctively finds the right angle at the same time, as if his hands were able to see…With all his senses he is present! With his body and his mind and his heart he really is where his photo takes place! The picture is a part of his own existence.


A woman who had ventured out to buy supplies was killed by a mortar shell. Her neighbor discovered her lying in the street.

Or let us look at a third image taken during the Chechen War in the mid-nineties. A village road, a singed wooden barn in the foreground. On the snow-covered road in front of it lies a dead woman, wearing a simple winter coat. Beside her on the ground, a purse. We see the sneakers and her thick socks, her left foot strangely and unnaturally twisted. Is it broken, was she shot at?

Around the corner comes another elderly woman, cautiously, almost looking at the sight with curiosity, “the neighbor,” as the caption tells us, a peasant scar wrapped around her head. She stops in her tracks and stares at the frozen body in the snow. You can almost see her thought: “That could be myself lying there!” There’s a hint of surprise in her stopping short, looking at the scene. The simple, one-story houses in the background bear witness to the place’s poverty. There are shingles missing, or is that damage caused by the war, too?

Actually, we can’t help thinking or perhaps it’s more of a vague feeling than a conscious thought: this photo is “just altogether impossible!” There’s something about it that we can’t quite get into our heads. In a movie, OK, we could accept a scene like this… And then we realize what it is that we think is so “impossible” about it: it’s the fact that the photographer was present that he was part of it, at this very place, that he captured the neighbor right at the moment of recognition, as if she were all alone at the scene, as if there couldn’t possibly be another person with a camera who’s not only watching, but creating evidence of the moment as well.

We are totally at a loss to explain the photographer’s attendance here. How could he make himself invisible like this? Unless he wasn’t there as a photographer in the first place, rather as someone who had just rushed to the scene as well, a fellow human being who was just as shocked, just as astounded… Someone who has become so much as one with his camera, that it indeed has become invisible to other people.

I’m also beginning to catch a glimpse of something else in each of the three images that I just instinctively picked out, almost arbitrarily: I can’t quite put the finger on it, but it seems to me that in these pictures the photographer doesn’t just see for himself! And this is something you can not at all take for granted!

Actually, the act of photographing is a very lonely job. You are mostly left to your own devices, especially when war is raging around you or hunger and death are haunting the land. But these photographs here all have one thing in common, an “attitude,” a point of view, the photographer’s awareness—whatever we call it—of standing where he is for others, of seeing on behalf of others, of exposing himself, and of giving testimony, for others.

Who are these “others” on whose behalf James Nachtwey goes to war, so to speak? Are they just the subjects of his photos, the starving, the dying, the dead, the perpetrators, the sick, the injured, the sufferers, the horrified? Or don’t these “others” also include us, the viewers, the very moment we begin to get involved with one of his images? When he makes himself a witness, and stands by this task, doesn’t he call us to the witness box as well?

If this is indeed the case, then James Nachtwey creates a community between the subjects of his photographs and us, a community that we can’t get out of so easily. He turns us into one humanity, not more and not less: Common humanity. The word “compassion” takes on its original meaning. (In German it literally means “sharing the suffering.”) It doesn’t connote condescension or “pity,” “the pitying smile,” but real empathy, when the suffering of others becomes ours as well.

Nachtwey manages to see things on behalf of both sides of humanity, the victims and the viewers, because his work is not only directed AGAINST something, against war, arbitrary violence, injustice or inequality, it is, above all, intended FOR (and dedicated to) the people he encounters in wars and in suffering, as well as for us.

I am aware that the word I’m going to use is somewhat antiquated, and it’s probably difficult to translate. This man is a “Menschenfreund,” a lover of humanity, and therefore an enemy of war.

And when he goes right to the heart of the war he does so on behalf of us, in order to force us to look closely, but also on behalf of the victims, as the eye-witness who wants to testify in their favor and belie war and its propaganda.

Maybe James Nachtwey is not just a photographer, but has a lot of professions.

He is also sociologist who doesn’t just dutifully record the phenomena and symptoms, but who wants to understand what caused them; a minister who knows that it is not consoling that gives consolation, but most of all being there for someone else; an archeologist who doesn’t just hastily burrow down into the dirt, but who carefully uncovers stone by stone; a poet who knows that he must never name things in plain words, but only invoke them in the reader; a philosopher who’d rather encourage people to think for themselves instead of self-righteously doing the thinking for them; a teacher who commands our respect because he respects everyone, including himself; a gardener who knows that you have to get to the roots when you want to pull out the weeds; a surgeon who knows that it won’t do just to operate on the fractures, but that you have to lay bare the trauma inside.

In short: a man who is able to look life and death in the eye, not because he is more courageous than we are, but because he lets himself get carried by all of those for whom he does it.

And because James Nachtwey is all of the above, because he has never stopped believing that there is reason behind his work, because he has never stopped believing that his images have their greatest possible effect only if the eye and the heart behind them have an unfailing faith in humanity and its ability for compassion.

For all of these reasons and many more we should stop calling him a “war photographer.” Instead, look upon him as a man of peace, a man whose longing for peace makes him go to war and expose himself… in order to make peace. He hates war with a passion, and loves mankind with even more of a passion.

I can’t think of anyone who would deserve this award, in this city of Dresden more than James Nachtwey.

Wim Wenders

Feb. 11, 2012

22.2.12

(20120206.01)
不願見極左,痛恨極右,又鄙視中間騎牆。

(20120222.01)
只恨不是世外高人。

3.2.12

容器


(20120203.01)
可不可以這樣想像:“蝗蟲”,比起"文明”,更接近自然本來的生態?

(20120203.02)
想像一下非洲原始森林(如果還有的話):﹣﹣

周圍沒有現代建築,
沒有玻璃幕牆搭成的豪華商場、
沒有金雕玉砌的雲石大堂、
沒有"不淮踐踏”的人工草地、
沒有設備完善的公廁,

只有土地、樹、草木、植物…
生長在這片保留原始生態的廣大荒地的土人,
要大、小便,吐痰,棄置食完的動物骨頭,都在原地解決。
塵歸塵、土歸土、凱撒的歸凱撒
有什麼問題?

如果這名土人來到此地,不出二十四小時,便成為害蟲了。

(20120203.03)
現代人,
用各種各樣的規條,
建構起"文明”這個容器,
然後把所有人放進去。

為了符合文明的規畫,
我們必須歪曲自己獨立不同的部分。

“容器”變得比其裝載的內容更重要。

(20120203.04)
雲石大堂,才不是人類生活的地方。

16.12.11

雜物小姐

悲慘童話世界(6)

(20111216.01)
她要賣的東西,實在太雜亂…

這一天,她拿來一箱女裝內褲求售。
風格一如往常,雜亂無章。
有純白綿質的,有蕾絲邊的,
有很清純女學生款式的,也有很情趣用品店的S/M重口味…實在…太雜亂了…


﹣﹣內褲,我們不收。
我斷然拒絕。

﹣﹣你的店不是自稱“宇宙百貨”嗎,怎麼會沒內褲賣?
她說。她底憂鬱的眼神,盯得人心都痛了。

﹣﹣外太空沒有空氣,是真空的。既然真空,當然不用穿內褲。
我答得理所當然。

她很沒趣的,悻悻然推門離去。

那一刻,我知道,如果不把握這次時機,便會永遠失去她。
於是,我追了出去…


(20111220.01)
門外,我鼓足勇氣,叫停了她。

﹣﹣妳…自己身上…穿的……內褲…………賣不賣?
我吞吞吐吐,問。

﹣﹣你不是說你的店不賣內褲麼?

﹣﹣妳…身上那套,我……自己收…

她的面上閃過了一陣迷惘、疑惑。
她定睛望著我,也可能是望著我唇上那撇不自然的鬚,咬著唇。

在悽美的風雪之中,我們互相對望。我腦海響起了梅豔芳的一首經典名曲﹣﹣“慾望野獸街”…

良久、良久、良久…
(…直至我的鼻,流出兩行鼻水。)
她的眼神,出現了變化。

那是一種幽怨的、宿命性的,接受了命運的坦然神色。
像存在主義者接受了“生命是一種荒謬”,或是像一個在禁區落客的職業司機被交通警捉到正,
她無言地,慢慢的走回我的店內。

在店內,她二話不說,快手快腳的,伸手入長裙內脫下內褲,遞了給我。
不出我所料,是粉紅色絹質,上面有個小蝴蝶結的。
我接過手中,還能感到她的體溫,也嗅到雜物小姐身上獨有的體味﹣﹣當然混合了各式陳年舊物的霉味。

我拿著她的內褲,感動得不能自己。

這時候,雜物小姐做出令我意想不到的行動:﹣﹣
她從她帶來的那箱內褲中,挑了一條綿質有卡通小狗圖案的穿上。
她把長裙掀起到腰際讓我看,說道:
﹣﹣這條內褲現在我穿過了,你要不要收下?

我看傻眼,急急的點頭。我那撇不自然的鬚,現在被汗水濕透。

雜物小姐除下那條卡通小狗圖案內褲交給我,又穿上另一條有花花圖案的。
﹣﹣這條你又要不要?
我只能不住點頭。

這樣子花了一個多小時,雜物小姐把她那箱內褲,逐一穿穿脫脫,終於把所有內褲都穿過了。

我看著那逐漸堆得像小山的內褲,雙眼滿是激動的淚水,不能說話。

雜物小姐默默的凝望著我。
她張開性感的朱唇,徐徐吐出三個字:
﹣﹣磅水喇。(這時,響起了“似水流年”的前奏)


(20111220.02)
我看著雜物小姐的背影走出我的店。
我把門外“宇宙百貨”的招牌抬進入店內,準備提早打烊﹣﹣我要開始“點貨”了。

冷不防的,雜物小姐又推門入來﹣﹣我慌忙把褲子拉回…
她說:
﹣﹣我手下有一班學生妹,明天帶來賣內褲。你買不買?

我的淚,此時終於再也忍不住湧出來,流了一臉。

我夢想多年,開設“學生妹二手內褲”買賣的夢想,終於可以實現了…

10.12.11

兩段新聞: 一段長, 一段短; 一段緊要, 一段不.


(20111210.01)

孔子孫頒和平獎 俄4美女代普京領


【明報專訊】內地第二屆孔子和平獎昨在北京頒獎,獲獎者俄羅斯總理普京未有出席,4名來自俄羅斯和白俄羅斯的美女留學生代領鍍金孔子雕像和榮譽證書。

頒獎禮原定於北京香山植物園臥佛山莊內舉行,但昨晨臨時獲通知有變,轉至3公里外的一個農家院落。與去年10萬元人民幣獎金不同的是,今年一分錢獎 金都沒有。今年的主辦方中國國際和平研究中心主任譙達摩說,獎項立足民間性、世界性。本屆8名候選人除普京外,還有微軟公司主席比爾·蓋茨、台灣親民黨主 席宋楚瑜、雜交水稻發明人袁隆平、十一世班禪喇嘛、南非總統祖馬、德國總理默克爾及聯合國前任秘書長安南。結果16名評委中有9票投給普京。

稱反北約轟利比亞有功 堪比關公

自稱為孔子73代孫的北京大學教授孔慶東稱,自己亦投普京一票,「中國的和平之神應是關公。普京為保衛國家和民族做出貢獻,是俄羅斯頭號反恐勇士和 民族英雄,今年他反對北約轟炸利比亞,為世界和平作出貢獻」。4名代普京領獎的美女留學生,據稱分別來自俄羅斯和白俄羅斯,分別為北京語言大學、首都師範 大學學生,她們稱是受俄使館通知來代領獎。但頒獎禮結束後,她們並未帶走雕像和證書。

去年諾貝爾和平獎頒給劉曉波後,就有內地團體向國民黨榮譽主席連戰頒出首屆孔子和平獎,今年9月,文化部叫停該獎項。譙達摩說,去年給連戰的10萬元人民幣獎金,至今仍未送出。他埋怨上屆組委會做事「效率太差」。

明報駐京記者劉洪慶報道



(20111210.02)

5諾獎得主籲關注劉曉波


【明報專訊】5名前諾貝爾獎和平獎得主及多名國際知名人權活動者,前日聯名呼籲,關注仍被關押的去年和平獎得主劉曉波。聯名發表這項聲明的,包括為結束南非種族隔離作出貢獻的圖圖大主教。

法新社

25.8.11

ghosts i have known

(20110825.02)
我覺得Underworld的"Always Loved a Film"MV,
浪漫得無可救藥。


(20110825.01)
比起認識全新的人,還是遇上昨日的鬼讓我安心。

Blondie、Gang of Four、John Foxx、Human League、Wire、Stereo MC's、Momus…
連Gary Numan也被後人邀請出山客串了。
這些舊名字,我以前有的喜歡有的不怎麼樣,
今天卻都令我生出“他鄉遇故知”的親切。

聽“人類聯盟”都聽得那麼津津有味,真_撞_鬼。

13.7.11

9.5.11

原地放下就可以了

(20110509.01)
她拉著重甸甸的行李,來這山長水遠的地方。
選擇這裡,是因為“這裡收不到手機訊號”。

不過這裡“沒有”的,遠超她的想像。
沒有名勝景點、沒有消閒活動。
沒有人告訴你應該怎樣
怎樣過活。
這裡的人,最高享受是:終日無所事事。
他們叫這:“twilight"。

她閑著有點手足無措,請教民宿老闆
“twilight"的竅門。
當地人從沒想過什麼竅門的事,也給問得有些手足無措,於是提議她“想著以前的某事或者某人“,甚至只是讓時間自己過去便可以。

這根本就是“發吽逗”吧。


(20110616.01)
荻上直子的《眼鏡 /めがね》比《海鷗食堂》更淡口,什麼起承轉結的編劇ABC都不講了。人物相互關係也若即若離,這個她為什麼每年都來,那個她逃避什麼,他又為什麼跟來,之後他們又會怎樣,都採用開放式處理。
電影的中心意象,大概就是女主角那個兩次被遺下的,孤零零的行李箱(一次是民宿老闆,第二次是女主角自己)。
第一次看還真有淡出鳥來的感覺。再看時心情調節好,開始嘗到那隱誨的味道。
(而導演自己放下的,就是“電影要講故事”的法則了。)

看到島上另外那所很“樂活“很低碳很回歸大自然的旅館(住客要自己落田耕作),那過猶不及努力推銷自己信奉那套生活觀的熱情,嚇得女主角落荒而逃。
我想到曾經遇到那些很努力叫人慢慢過活放下自在,自己卻偏偏在塵世大活躍的各式人等,禁不住咯咯笑了出來。


(20110616.02)
終日想著“放下”,只是因為自己手上還有吧。

電視明星哭喪著臉帶顔色筆去紙張
貧乏的山區送給當地兒童。
富泰有閒的人去不丹學習人家快樂的方法。
耶穌說過駱駝穿過針眼比財主進天堂還容易啊老友。




1.5.11

遺物整理人沒看見的







Show me what you have and i will tell you who you are.


(20110504.01)
著魔似的,上Ebay專看標註著"Junk Drawer Lot"的拍賣項目。
“祖父遺留下來的”、“父親收藏的”、“在姨媽閣樓找到的”什麼什麼......
像鴨寮街地攤檔,翻箱倒篋撒滿一地任人觀看,任人拿上手量稱,絲毫沒半點尊嚴。

隨便開價、還價即成。


曾經屬於某人的寶貝,那些杯墊、鐵皮玩具、波子、相機、原子筆、閃咭、胸針、照片、郵票、鹽樽......紀錄了某人的人生斷片,他/她的嗜好、經歷、去過的地方。
和夢。

這些遺物的最終賣價,多多少少,也反映了他/她的人生價值(或沒有價值)吧?


(20110504.02)
我當然也抱著“尋寶”的幻想,在茫茫的遺物海洋中搜索漏網之魚。

你知道,“某個美國清潔女工,在某戶人家的garage sale中買下一幅鬼五馬六的亂塗鴉,最後被鑑定為Jackson Pollock/Picasso/Modigliani的真跡”...之類那種美好傳說。

說不定真有不肖子孫,把老父花大半生時間金錢搜羅回來的珍罕菲林相機,當成數碼攝影時代的廢材處理掉。
一位賣家這樣說:
“我父母終於轉用數碼...LOL“,笑著以15美元把他們的三部相機賣掉。
其中包括了一部Yashica T4Zoom。
你試試搜尋一下,這部傻瓜機,其實是成交價隨時
超過1、2百美元的高檔品。

有一天花十元八塊美金歐羅,買到搶得火熱的Konica IIIM......這樣光想想也好。


(20110504.03)
對“我祖父的相機“有莫名的興趣。
比起珍而重之放在名店陳列櫃的限量版新品,我還比較喜歡這種“有過去”的東西。
曾經擁有這件身外物的,是怎麼樣的人?
他/她現在怎麼了?他/她珍視這件寶物為什麼會落入凡塵了?

大約十年前,我曾經出價競投一部Baby Deardorff 4x5木頭相機。是只造了500部上下的超稀少品。用現在的流行語,是"銘品”了。
後來成交價好像超過1,200美元,不是我付得起的價碼。
幾天之後有人藉著Ebay的競投紀錄發電郵來(那時是網上私隱意識很薄弱的時代),說要為一位寡婦放售其先夫的遺物。
﹣﹣正是一部
Baby Deardorff。
我那時手指隙疏,結果在霎時衝動下用900美元買了下來。
是英俊得不得了的東西。只是我從來沒用過,成了名符其實的“收藏”品。

大拿拿900美元,買的是那份“感覺”。﹣﹣花錢花得幾型。


(20110504.04)
這陣子終於拿起心肝,把一些只剩下感情價值的舊物處分掉。
(更正:是連感情價值都已消磨殆盡的舊物)
留下的更多。

一邊清理一邊想的,是:
我的遺物將會向何處流散?

我這個人,
又遺留下了什麼痕跡?



(20110504.05)
黎堅惠新近出書,說的好像是千里迢迢去南美放下自在尋回真我一類事情。
封面的她身光頸靚拉著行李箱,有型有款得佢。
她放得下什麼?








25.3.11

拾遺

(2011.03.28.01)
認識的人的朋友之中,有一位手腳很快的攝影師,除了正職也秘撈得很凶,每次都是十萬火急快手快腳幹完工夫。人很火。
他聽老爵士,去鴨寮街買零件自己砌膽機座地喇叭。
有一次向我推薦看《喇叭書院》,把片中竹中直人解釋“什麼才是Swing”的場面完全示範了一次。在銅鑼灣餐廳。
他有老婆仔女。確實家庭人數和狀況,比方說是仔還是女,我沒有打聽。
總之,有一天晚上,認識的人打電話來,說這位攝影師朋友要把家裡清理出空間來﹣﹣好像是孩子長大了要自己的房間﹣﹣急著要把唱片處理掉。認識的人自己家裡也沒地方,於是提議說把唱片寄存在我的工作室。
紅白藍膠袋一共兩大袋連夜送來。三呎高的喇叭一對。還有一部小小的鴨記膽機(“我要了他那部,我這部給你用”認識的人說)。

(2011.03.29.01)
大半年過去了,那兩袋CD無人過問,三呎高的喇叭放在原地。
早幾天我八卦打開看了看,有好東西也有無謂的,比例是6/4,總體來說是普通程度,很“合理”的老爵士唱片收藏,說不上有突出的個人品味﹣﹣但那套Coltrane的完整1961年Village Vanguard錄音便還是很令人眼前一亮。

我一邊聽著Stanley Turrentine、Wes Montgomery、Oscar Peter Trio、Clifford Brown的老爵士,一邊想到他把唱片裝進紅白藍膠袋的那個炎熱的晚上。
他是懷著什麼樣的心情呢?

(2011.03.29.02)
據說他也收藏相機。
他收的Olympus的Pen系列藏品聽認識的人說很可觀。
當我打開那兩袋CD,我想起了這些Pen機。說不定有一天他也要捨棄吧。
唔…

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